


Life Would Be Funny (If It Weren't So Damn Tragic)

by lucipherer (mysticstargirl)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, M/M, Mostly just sad, Soulmates, angel Phil, another soulmates au, demon king dan, descriptive blood stuff, dying, heaven-hell, sad stuff, warning for character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-03 00:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5268827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysticstargirl/pseuds/lucipherer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Demons and Angels being soulmates is unheard of; blasphemous even. </p><p>In which Dan just wants to love and be loved, and Phil supposes it was never going to work out for them in the first place anyway; You can't stay warm forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life Would Be Funny (If It Weren't So Damn Tragic)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my beautiful phan-loving girlfriend](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+beautiful+phan-loving+girlfriend), [akasharani](https://archiveofourown.org/users/akasharani/gifts), [all the love xx](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=all+the+love+xx).



> okay so i am emotionally unstable while writing this note, because this is directly after archive decided to delete this entire story.  
> like, i was three lines from done, and BAM, all of it was gone. not in my drafts, not in my history, nowhere. 
> 
> so, i've just lost everything, and i'm still shaking, but i really, really want to publish this, so I'm rewriting it, im so sorry if it's shit because of that. i actually physically can not remember what the original ending for this story was going to be because the shock of losing everything sort of gave me short term memory loss.
> 
> i really loved this story, i thought it was so good and even better than my last phanfic and then it all disappeared and guys i was so upset
> 
> but yeah, it's too late now. so.... this is what will be published.
> 
> apologies if its shit

A boy sits on a sleek black throne,  embedded and carved with faces of agony, of souls of the wretched dead.  
  
A boy stares around the big, dark, hollow hall of the palace, cold and uninviting, frightening shadows cast across the black marble floors.  
  
A boy in elegant black, with two horns of the ram- the sign of the royal family of Hell, sleek dark and frightening things- protruding from the top of his head, his gaze cool and empty and blank, stares at the enormous door at the other end of the hall, closed as tightly as it has always been, the end of his world.  
  
A boy with dark hair and darker eyes is alone in the throne room of Hell, nothing but the echoing screams of tortured souls to keep him company.  
  
And the boy thinks to himself, _It's cold._  
  
\----------  
  
Daniel James Howell is a boy.  
  
A mere child of 15 years, sat on the throne of Hell; legs and arms crossed gracefully and chin tilted up, draped in cloths of black and red. Poised, quiet, calm, confident.  
  
_Cold._  
  
It's ironic to say that the boy felt cold, with all of hellfire burning around him, when he himself sat upon a throne of the burning dead.  
  
But his lips were pale, nearly blue, fingers stiff, legs and feet revealed from his robes with frightening pallor, none of the rosiness of a child at the joints.  
  
It's cold here, on the singular throne of hell, for a young boy.  
  
\----------  
  
A boy sits on the clouds, warm and softly exuding shades of the sunset.  
  
A boy watches the world turn beneath him, the color, the noise, the light, the golden gates of heaven behind him and the entire world ahead.  
  
A boy dressed in simple, flowing white, with a gold circlet-a small sign of his status as a young angel- placed around his head, gaze full of unending curiosity and love for the little people that walk the earth, loves the sea and the land and the animals and the beautiful, beautiful flowers.  
  
A boy with black hair and eyes as blue as the sky sits on his peaceful spot in heaven, the gentle sounds of music and laughter all around him.  
  
And the boy thinks to himself, _it's cold._  
  
\----------  
  
Phillip Michael Lester is a boy.  
  
A young boy of 19 years, sat on a cloud, on his knees leaning over the edge to drink in everything his eyes can see, wrapped in cloths of gold and white. Alert, quiet, curious, serene.  
  
_Cold._  
  
It's ironic to say that the boy felt cold, with the very sun beaming above him, when he sat under the cloud and felt it's rays caressing his skin.  
  
But the boy's skin never darkened under the sun, his hands and shoulders and feet cold to the touch, somehow missing the gentle rosiness of angels' youth in his cheeks.  
  
It's cold here, on a little cloud up here in heaven, for a young boy.  
  
\----------  
  
Soulmates occur in both angels and demons as well as humans, creatures meant to be together.  
  
Angels with angels, demons with demons.  
  
Phil smiles as he watches another angel find their soulmate, beam with the light of a thousand stars as they wrap each other up in their arms.  
  
Phil wonders, _Where are you?_  
  
-  
  
Dan raises an eyebrow when he hears another demon register their soulmate, an almost innocent smile on their faces as their fingers are entertwined, gently leaning forward to bump their smaller horns together.  
  
Dan thinks, _Where are you?_  
  
\----------  
  
It's when Dan Howell is 18, and Phil Lester is 22, when the most unusual love story truly begins.  
  
"You'll find your soulmate any day now," A young demon named Tyler assures him, smiling at him pleasantly. "Just you wait, I'm sure they'll be the most wicked, gorgeous demon in Hell. They'll love you, and you'll love them."  
  
The brown haired boy thinks, at times like this, that he feels a little warmth in his chest, just the tiniest bloom of golden light.  
  
Odd, considering golden light doesn't exist in Hell; only the flickering flames of hellfire and the burning acid-red sun beating down on the backs of sinners.  
  
But the golden light is wonderful and warm, so Dan lets Tyler reassure him as they sit together, and Dan dreams without dreaming of a soulmate.  
  
-  
  
"Don't worry, any day the most lovely angel will turn up for you!" An angel named Louise beams at Phil, ruffling his hair gently. "Any day now, Phil. They're going to love you so much!"  
  
The blue eyed boy thinks, at times like this, that he feels a little warmth in his hands, just the littlest bit of feeling coming to his fingertips.  
  
Almost like the humans that hold their hands over fire to warm them- but fire is bad in heaven. In heaven, there is the sun to warm the angels and good souls.  
  
But the fiery warmth is wonderful, and Phil can feel the cloud beneath his fingers, so he lest Louise tell him these things, and Phil yearns for his soulmate.  
  
\----------  
  
Phil falls.  
  
He didn't mean to, and it's not an enormous deal. He hadn't fallen fallen, just lost his grip on his cloud, had leaned too far forward watching a herd of strange looking animals.  
  
Angels fall from heaven often, but they fly back before they're halfway to earth.  
  
Phil just happens to forget his wings- he panics.  
  
He crashes into earth, landing roughly among the flowers and plants and trees, palms scratched from rocks and branches, and he sits there, stunned.  
  
He'd just _fallen._  
  
And he is afraid.  
  
-  
  
Dan escapes.  
  
He'd meticulously planned this day with Tyler for a long time.  
  
Demons leave hell quite often, but Dan has never breathed a breath of air outside of that damned throne room.  
  
He follows the path as he'd been carefully instructed, and finally, finally he sees light.  
  
In his excitement, the thick black wings erupt from his back, enormous, leathery things, and he practically throws himself out of the tunnel, mind going giddy with the sudden, refreshing taste of freedom bursting under them.  
  
He'd _escaped._  
  
And he is elated.  
  
\----------  
  
As fate would have it, the soulmates cross paths that singular day, an ecstatic Dan Howell soaring among the trees and a lost Phil Lester wandering the earth.  
  
Both gaze upon the new world with wonder and interest.  
  
It's Dan who spots the Phil first, who freezes where he floats and stares.  
  
Pale skin and dark hair and green, blue, gold in those eyes, thin lips and cheekbones and draped in thin white.  
  
He's _beautiful._  
  
And then Phil turns to stare straight at Dan, and they both watch each other carefully and everything goes still, like the entire world has stopped spinning, like even the clouds in the sky and the trees on the earth have frozen and are holding their breath for this moment.  
  
Phil looks up at Dan, who's floating in the air, all long pale legs and wide amber eyes and ruffled brown hair, loosely wrapped in black and red, thick black wings beating the air to keep him among the trees  
  
He's _beautiful._  
  
It's Dan who says the first words.  
  
"Hello." He says, softly, low voice curious and questioning.  
  
"Hi." Phil responds, and Dan is very slowly, very cautiously lowering to the ground, their eyes never once straying from each other's.  
  
Another moment of staring.  
  
"What's your name?" Dan says, his bare feet touching the warm earth, now much shorter than Phil, staring up at him.  
  
"Phil." The taller boy tilts his head in curiosity, because he's never seen anything like this boy before.  
  
"I'm Dan."  
  
More beats of silence pass, where the gentlest breeze ruffles their hair and the leaves start to whisper.  
  
"Are you my soulmate?" Phil asks, and he knows the answer as soon as he asks the question, because he can feel the heat of the sun now, soaking into his skin and the feeling returning to his fingers and toes.  
  
"Yes." Dan answers with certainty, eyes wide, and he's confident because the world up here is much warmer than his throne in Hell, because it's Phil that radiates the warmth. Like fire, like the sun that he's only heard stories of.  
  
"You're a demon." Phil's eyes glide over his dark wings to the horns on his head, to the dark draperies hanging from the boy.  
  
For just a moment, the boy king fears rejection from his soulmate.  
  
A single, pale hand extends towards the demon boy, and his wings flutter in surprise, half-spreading in surprise and settling down again, but the plants around them sway at the brief wind.  
  
The boy places his hand in Phil's, startled by how wonderfully warm the touch is, and he offers the boy a smile.  
  
Phil's wings spread almost triumphantly, fluttering in delight behind him, and Dan's smile falters.  
  
_An angel,_ Dan's mind screams, _your soulmate is an angel!_  
  
Dan has never felt more complete than with his hand in Phil's, but he thinks his world is crumbling to pieces around him.  
  
\----------  
  
Four mind-numbing, heart-skipping days is what they get together.  
  
They just _fit_ , and Dan knows it. They fit like rows upon rows of shark teeth settled in the beast's mouth, like their fingers intertwined as they sit among the trees, flowers growing around Phi and the grass dying around Dan.  
  
Phil knows it too, knows they fit like a fantastically done bouquet of flowers, like all of their skin fits into curves and arches when they're draped over each other, feeling all sorts of warm and hot despite cool nights or chilly winds.  
  
There's always a glowing sort of golden warmth in Phil when Dan looks at him, and when Phil looks at Dan there's a fire, something very different from the sun and far more beautiful.  
  
"Angels and demons are never soulmates. I've never even heard of it. I'm pretty sure it's forbidden." Dan had muttered worriedly, but Phil had just shaken his head, smiling at him. "It's meant to be. It'll be alright."  
  
Phil comes from a place where all is good, where love between any two people would be accepted without question. He is not worried.  
  
Dan comes from a place where he was trapped all his life, where harsh orders and bone-chilling threats were hissed into his ear by regents and advisers at all times of the day, where even a step out of place would result in being locked away without a speck of light or a drop of water for days, so much as a mutter of resent and he'd be locked away for years.  
  
Dan's scared.  
  
But Phil gives him a radiant smile and his hands are so warm against Dan's arm and cheek and back, and he melts into the touch, because _surely, nothing can hurt him when he's with his soulmate._

_-_

"Where are those birds going, Phil?" Dan asks, perched on a rock because he doesn't like when the grass dies, and Phil glances up at the V-formation of ducks flying south.

"That's very interesting, actually!" The angel turns to beam at Dan. "I know lots about the earth animals, because i watched them every day! Those are ducks, and they fly southwards of the earth for the winter, because it gets cold in the winter and it's warmer over there!" Phil explains with excitement, blue eyes glittering with glee, and Dan gives a small smile, reaching up to thoughtfully stroke his horns.

"Southwards is down, right?" He says, staring up at them.

"I guess you could say that. At least, on a human compass it is." Phil glances at him questioningly, leaning on the rock. His wings are stretched out and there are butterflies perched on them, colorful little things resting all along the strong length of them.

Dan wants to touch them, but he's afraid to try; if the flowers wilt when he breathes on them, he doesn't want to imagine what touching the fragile little things will do to them.

"It was cold in hell." Dan murmurs, gazing out across the beautiful creatures resting on Phil's wings. "Everyone says the fire burns sinners, but I always thought it was so cold."

"I guess _we_ won't be going South in the winter then," Phil laughs, stepping up on his tiptoes to give Dan a little eskimo kiss, like he'd seen the furry, bundled up people did in the white lands.

Dan turns a very pleasant pink, blinking shyly at the grass when the angel pulls away.

"I guess not."

"We can stay right here on Earth, right? It's south for me, and _I'm_ the one with the wings like the birds." His wings flutter, and the butterflies all fly off, creating a storm of color around them, a breathtaking sight.

Orange monarchs, blue ones, yellow and white and black and red, fluttering all around them.

"What are _my_ wings like?" Dan asks curiously, his own stretching out, beautiful in their own right, although he didn't like them as much as he liked Phil's.

"Um, like... like bats. They're like back wings. Or, if you wanna sound cooler, like Pterodactyl wings!" Phil says, and he reaches out to touch them, gently sliding his fingers down the bone, and over the leathery skins stretched between them.

Dan furrows his eyebrows, as he had never seen them before.

"Or actually," Phil grins, and presses a kiss to the base of Dan's left, making him go even redder and bury his face in his other wing. "Like a dragon's."

"Dragons?" Dan asks, curiously peeking over his right wing.

"What, you've never heard of dragons?!" The angels gasps, and Dan shakes his head.

"Oh, my friend, do I have a story to tell you!" Phil beams, and begins to tell tales of giant, fire-breathing creatures of magic that hoarded gold and terrorized the humans.

-  
  
They spend a lot of time together, sitting in the grass, Phil being approached by all sorts of different woodland creatures, Dan watching in wonder at how they curl up to him, approach him curiously to lick his cheek or nibble his fingers and hair, at the deer that nuzzle Phil's cowlick and the squirrels that sit on his shoulder, the rabbits that eagerly hop into his lap to be touched and the butterflies that land on his porcelain fingers.  
  
Phil happily weaves beautiful flowers into a crown, places it over Dan's horns, beams at him and tells him he's beautiful.  
  
The flowers, oddly enough, don't die the moment they touch him, but rest against his brown hair, making him blink in surprise. As the days go on, the grass around him stops dying, and some of the animals even let him touch them. and Dan...  
  
Dan loves Phil _so much._  
  
Phil, who's so full of life and wonder and happiness for this world, who smiles at Dan like he's the best thing he's ever seen and touches him with gentle, warm graces of his fingers, who has eyes that gleam blue-gold-green-grey in the sun.  
  
Sitting there with his soulmate, the sky above them and the ground below them, the boy king has never known happiness, much less happiness like this.  
  
"Kiss me." Dan murmurs, and Phil is eager to comply, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his lips, eyes fluttering closed, and it's warm. Everything is so warm, Dan thinks he's forgotten what cold feels like.  
  
\----------  
  
On the fifth day, they're found.  
  
The five minutes they are apart, Dan spots two very angry advisers and their very large four guards, his only friend Tyler included. It would be funny if it weren't so terrifyingly tragic.  
  
He feels the warmth of the earth leave instantly when he sees them, and he feels nothing but icy cold gripping his heart and spreading through his entire body, eyes wide with terror.  
  
_No, no, no, no, nonononononononono-_  
  
He turns and he decks it.  
  
He needs to find Phil, and he needs to get Phil away from here.  
  
The only thought in his mind, repeating like a mantra: "Protect Phil, Protect Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil-"  
  
He tears through the forest, eyes wide and searching, and he senses the warmth that Phil radiates quickly, the boy facing away from Dan.  
  
"Phil!" He screams, bursting out of the woods and practically throwing himself at his soulmate, but something he sees out of the corner of his eyes makes him stop.  
  
There are six more angels, bristling with their silver and gold spears, staring at him with as much alarm as he's feeling right now.  
  
"What?" He breathes out, because his horns are blaring on his head and his enormous black wings are spread in the air, and his eyes are wide because he's outnumbered and they're looking at him with a mix of disgust-horror-fear-anger.  
  
"Dan!" Phil gasps, and he turns, hurrying to the king, arms outstretched to grab him, when a spear sails between them, landing right at Dan's feet, the energy of it crackling and burning Dan, making him yelp and leap back.  
  
"Get away from him, Phillip!" A voice cries, from the angels, and Phil turns to give the girl who shrieked the most betrayed look.  
  
"He's a demon, Phillip, he's the king of them, he's a monster! He's poison, scum!" A man orders, a stern looking man standing at the front of them, and Dan's heart is beating so hard and fast in his chest he can barely breathe.  
  
"He's my soulmate!" Phil snaps indignantly, pulling the spear from the ground to toss it away, grabbing Dan's hand. The moment their skin touches, the angels all gasp and one of them screams in terror, as if expecting some great horror to happen.  
  
Nothing.  
  
Phil gently takes Dan's hand, now burned from the silver spear, gently inspecting it, with gaze and touch so loving and soft Dan's going to cry.  
  
"What have you done to him?" A voice snarls, and Dan's head snaps toward the herd of angels again, eyes wide. "What kind of wicked curse did you put on him, you devil!?" The angel yells at him, and the boy doesn't like raised voices, raised voices means he's going to be hurt and he doesn't want to be hurt right now, doesn't want to feel like this when Phil is holding him so gently--  
  
"STOP IT!" Phil cries, wrapping Dan up in his arms and surrounding him with warmth again, holding him protectively from the herd of angels. "Stop it, he's my soulmate. He's been nothing but good to me, leave him alone!"  
  
"You don't know the things he's done, Phillip," Another angel, one with dark hair and light eyes says warning, stepping forward. "The things he does down there in hell, torturing the souls of sinners, the evil he is!"  
  
Phil can't believe what he's hearing- Dan is golden, Dan is good, Dan is everything in the world Phil could have ever wished for, he's fire and warmth and gentleness, and these angels, these angels that were supposed to be his friends were yelling venomous things at him!  
  
"Phil," Dan whispers, shaking like a leaf in his arms, eyes wide with terror, shrinking down even smaller, wings folding in. "Phil, they're yelling."  
  
"It's okay, love. It's alright, darling," Phil drops a gentle kiss to his forehead, right between the horns that he's grown to love, hands coming up to smooth hair back into place and stroking his wings. "They won't hurt you, I promise."  
  
Because Dan is a boy, despite what any of them are saying. He's just a boy, and if anything Dan's told him about his life in hell, he had little to nothing to do with whatever happened down there.  
  
"Step away from the demon, Phillip." An angel says harshly, and Dan curls in further, hands tightening in Phil's clothes like he'll die if the angel lets go.  
  
"No." The blue eyes are wide and determined as they stare at the angels. "No way in hell."  
  
And then a second group bursts into the clearing.  
  
"There he is!" A familiar voice roars, and Dan nearly screams into Phil's chest, shrinking away from it so fast Phil nearly drops him.  
  
For a full three seconds, confused silence fills the clearing.  
  
\----------  
  
Chaos breaks out there, on the earth, in that little clearing that had been so warm and full of love just a day ago, as the angels bristle and the demons take it as a sign to attack, throwing themselves at the angels.  
  
Tyler is still staring at the sight in front of him, confused, at the boy curled into the arms of the angel, at the demons who are yowling and tearing at the angels, at a young blonde angel who looks just as bewildered as he does, who is also staring at the two boys clutching each other.  
  
"Dan?" Tyler finally asks, and the boy turns to him, looking frightened and lost but so _right_ there in the angel's arms, and he sighs.  
  
He gives the king of Hell a gentle smile and an accepting nod, and the boy looks so relieved it almost hurts his heart.  
  
On the other side, Louise is still staring at Phil in confusion, but he gives her a pleading look, holding Dan tightly to himself, protectively.  
  
She lets out a little breath, gives him a rueful smile and a shake of her head, but then shrugs, like 'what can you do?' and he smiles at her.

For a brief moment, there is a small triangle of calm understanding between the four young creatures there, in the midst of the small battlefield.  
  
And then Dan is wrenched from his arms.  
  
\----------  
  
"Phil!" Dan screams, but an enormous demon has him by the wings, keeping him from escaping as he scrambles desperately, trying to get to him, but they just yank him back, and one of the older demons actually hits him across the face, making a sound escape Phil's throat, deep and angry and _don't touch him_.  
  
"Shut up, you spoiled brat!" The adviser snarls, and Dan flinches back, but falling submissive under the cold gaze of the demon.  
  
"We're taking the king back," He spits at the angels, glowering at them. "And if you try to defeat us by taking our kind from us again--"  
  
"We didn't take him!" An angel glares at him. "Your damned king took one of our angels with his wicked sins, almost made him fall! You monsters."  
  
"Give Dan back." Phil says quietly, staring at the boy who seems to be shrinking where he stands, getting smaller. "Give me back my soul mate."  
  
"Fly off with your angel brothers," The adviser snaps at him. "You can't steal the king from his throne so easily by fooling him into ideas like that."  
  
"He's my soul mate." Phil repeats, his eyes hard and cool, his entire stance emanating an almost dangerous aura. "He's my soul mate, and you can't just take him away."  
  
"He's just a brat," The demon mutters, and they turn away from him, walking away. "He needs to be raised into a proper King of Hell."  
  
"He loves this place. He loves life, and color. He likes flowers and the rabbits like him." Phil says, hands starting to shake. "You demons don't deserve him."  
  
"Let him go."  
  
Phil doesn't want to think about what they'll do to him when they take him away, if they'll use him like Dan told him, to get their wishes both in court and in their beds, in the ruddy cell they would lock him in.  
  
But he'll be _damned_ if he lets them.

"Give him back, he's my soulmate." Phil says again, eyes hard and cold as he stares at them.

And suddenly, out of nowhere, the demon that had been holding Dan dissipates into dust, revealing a blonde haired demon holding a long black blade.

"Oakley! What is the meaning of this?!" The adviser snaps, eyes wide, but Tyler just shrugs. "They're soulmates."

Dan flutters his wings once, eyes wide, and he turns to beam at his demon friend, before immediately turning and running towards Phil, eyes glowing with adoration and joy, beaming.

Phil spreads his arms, grinning, and there's nothing but a scream of victory in his heart-

-

Phil's not exactly sure what happened.

One moment, Dan had been rushing towards him, triumph in both their faces, wings spread and looking so _beautiful_ in the sunlight. 

Phil's frozen, any trace of a smile gone from his face. Dan is half on the ground, half held up by Phil, gasping, and there's a _spear planted in his back_ , a long, silver thing buried right between his wings, the golden tip protruding grossly from his chest.

Shit, Phil is going to be sick, and angels don't even _get sick_.

Now, a demon can only be killed by one thing; an angel's grace.

The silver spear is an angel's weapon, a thing made of solidified, concentrated grace.

The tip is covered in blood, scarlet instead of the normal black of a demon's, the red of life gleaming in every drop.

Warm, sticky, sharp-scented stuff, staining the pale boy's skin and Phil's tunic and hands.

Warm, but in the most horrifying way.

"Phil," The boy's crying, but the angel feels like he's underwater, everything blurred and tuned out except Dan who is clutching him desperately, bleeding out and writhing in pain, and Phil can feel his heart beating in his ears. "Phil!"

They both know there's no way Dan will survive this blow; not when the spear is so big and the boy is so _small_.

"Dan," Phil whispers, but Dan's practically half-gone, choking on his own blood in his throat and couching it up, a thick trickle of blood falling from the corner of his lips, _those beautiful lips_ , and Phil can't breathe.

Oh _god_ , Phil can't _breathe_.

"Dan," He mutters, his fingers stained red, everything around them, his clothes, Dan's skin, the grass, glowing red with Dan's life. "Dan." He says again, and he brings his hand up to very gently touch his cheek, which calms the boy down just a bit.

"Phil, I'm _dying_." Dan says, eyes wide with fear, and _oh, he's so young,_ Phil thinks, nothing but numb, slowly going cold. 

"It's alright, love." Phil mumbles, because what can he do?

There's nothing he can do for Dan, and they both know it.

But that doesn't mean Phil's entire world isn't falling to pieces as he holds Dan together, trying to be strong for the both of them because he _knows_ Dan is scared.

"It's going to be okay, bear." Phil whispers, leaning down to rub their noses together gently, tenderly, like Dan would break if he moved to quickly. "You'll be alright."

"I'm _dying_." Dan mumbles, almost annoyed at Phil, and the angel smiles weakly, careful not to shift the boy. Angry red blood gurgles up around the spear protruding from Dan's chest, and his black wings have dropped weakly to the ground, giving an occasional twitch.

He's pale, but still warm against Phil, staring up at him with doleful brown eyes.

"Don't die." The angel says, desperately, everything around him forgotten. "Please don't leave me."

Dan just coughs again, and blood splatters across Phil's fingers.

"This was the most fun I've ever had." Dan says to him, gentle, and the angel can see he's nearly gone now, even though he's holding on for Phil, he needs to let him go.

"I don't want to be alone again."

"I'm sorry."

Phil shakes his head at that, dropping another kiss between Dan's horns. "No. Not your fault."

"I don't want to be alone either." The demon boy mumbles, and he's gone entire limp now, nothing but heavily blinking eyes, dull, and Phil can't cry, he shouldn't, not when Dan's being so strong, but fuck....

Dan's still so _warm_.

"You won't be, alright? You're so good, Dan, you're so good, I'm sure you'll be in heaven. I'll look after you, I promise." He's muttering sweet nothings at this point, anything, anything to keep the boy here for a moment longer.

Dan gives him a smile then, a gentle, soft little smile, eyes holding all the warmth of the world, and Phil leans down to kiss him, right in that moment.

When he pulls away, Dan is cold.

And Phil shuts his eyes, grits his teeth, feels the cold hit him full force and wrap around him, tearing him to shreds from the inside because Dan is _gone_ -

And the angel cries.

\----------

"Demons don't go to heaven, Phil." A voice murmurs, and the angel doesn't look up but he thinks it's the demon that tried to save Dan.

" _He_ will. There's no way he won't. You didn't see him, he was so kind to the animals, and he's just a boy." Phil says, confidently, voice trembling, and he's cold.

He's just really, really cold.

"I'm sure Dan will be the exception." Tyler says softly, and he kneels gently beside them, wiping the blood away from his chin. "I don't think I've ever even heard of a demon bleeding red."

Phil still hasn't opened his eyes, because he'd rather be here in the darkness, because he'd rather see nothing at all than open his eyes and see his soul mate dead in his arms.

"Where did they all go?"

_The demons who hurt Dan, the angels who killed him._

"The demons have all turned tail and run, and most of your angels are wounded or dead." Tyler touches Dan's skin, as if unsurprised by how cold the boy is. "He's always been so cold."

"He was warm with me." The angel says, almost defensively, and the blue eyed man smiles, a kind eyed, soft kind of smile that Phil doesn't see. "I don't doubt it for a second."

"Phil?" A familiar voice calls, and Phil turns to Louise before opening his eyes.

"Lou." Phil says, and slowly, his face crumples up again, blue eyes crinkled and darkening with pain and sorrow. "Lou, he's _gone_."

The blonde haired angel lets out a soft breath, kneeling beside him. "I'm so sorry, love."

"I just _met_ him." Phil cries, arms tightening around the boy kind. "I only just _met him_ and they took him away from me, Lou!"

"I'm sorry." She says again, but he shakes his head, because the tears are falling and they won't  _stop_. 

"I just _met him_. We only had four days, and it was _warm_ , it was warm for four days and now it's cold again, Lou, it's so cold--"

And then he's just wrapped up in arms and he let's them, but he doesn't let go of the beautiful boy in his arms, and Phil cries some more.

\----------

Turns out, Dan _is_ an exception.

It takes a while, some convincing, some fighting, some rallying.

But eventually, the angels of death consent, and the boy king is allowed into the gates of heaven.

The moment Phil hears the news, he tears across the entire kingdom looking for him, for a pale lanky boy with bright brown eyes and soft hair and a dimpled smile.

And he finds him there, on the clouds, just like Phil remembers him being, and for a second the angel is flooded with warmth, his heart thudding fast and hard in his chest.

"Dan!" He calls, and the boy turns, staring right at him. His horns and wings are gone and he's so gorgeous he might as well be an angel.

O _h, he's beautiful, he's warm and bright and everything Phil remembers and loves about him_.

He stops right in front of him, staring down at the boy. "Hi," He says breathlessly, and the boy smiles up at him.

"Hello."

The blue-eyed angel waits for something, still beaming down at his soul mate.

"Um, sorry," Dan laughs gently, eyes fluttering, and he's so _lovely_ when he laughs, oh god, all crinkled eyes and glowing amber eyes and dimples as deep as the humans' oceans-- 

"Do I know you?"

And suddenly the world falls to pieces all over again, everything going frigid.

Dan just looks up at him, all wide brown eyes, and Phil thinks he's going to cry.

"...Are you my soul mate?" The boy says first.

"Yes. Yes, It's me. I'm Phil." The angel says finally, holding out a hand.

Dan smiles gently, taking his hand, and it's warm. It really is.

Phil should've known. The dead don't remember their lives.

"I'm Dan." He responds, beaming up at him.

 _I know._ Phil grins, and even though his heart hurts he thinks it's going to be okay, because Dan's hand is warm and his smile is even warmer.

"I guess we aren't going to be loners anymore, right?" Dan says, and the angel nods, before wrapping up the boy in his arms.

You can't stay warm forever, but he supposes that's why the birds fly away from the winter.

**Author's Note:**

> i apologize for my atrocious grammar  
> also ew what even is that last line where i attempt to be fake deep


End file.
